Hey you! Yeah, you! Sitting there in your bloody pyjamas eating junk food all day. What are you doing with your life? Whatever happened to all those dreams you had whilst you were a kid?
Well, don’t feel so bad about it, because alongside death and taxes, this is another certainty of life: you won’t ever do the job that you dreamt about doing whilst you were a kid. For instance, when I were a lad, I wanted to become an astronaut (between the ages of 3-5), a David Attenborough-esque documentary presenter (ages 5-7), and an inventor (ages 7-11).
Oh, and a Clanger (ages 1-3)